WASHINGTON—According to a new report released Tuesday by the Federal Aviation Administration, Spirit Airlines, the American low-cost air carrier, is the absolute fucking worst and is actually a giant fucking rip-off.
SAN FRANCISCO—Tired of being bombarded with constant requests to share content on social media, bestow ratings, leave comments, and generally “join in on the discussion,” the nation’s Internet users demanded substantially less inte...
SAN DIEGO—Following the events of last week, in which a crazed western lowland gorilla ruthlessly murdered 21 people in a local shopping plaza after escaping from the San Diego Zoo, sources across the country confirmed Thursday that national gorilla...
WASHINGTON—Saying they know its no good for them but they just can't help themselves, gushing women voters acknowledged Monday the overwhelming and uncontrollable attraction they feel toward the sexist Republican party. Smitten female voters across ...
By Bruce Springsteen
RICHMOND, VA– Wanting to
By Barack Obama
CINCINNATI—Carol Held Knight told reporters on Wednesday that, though she was still mourning her husband Neil Armstrong’s death, it was frankly a relief to finally be able to clear out all the “space hobby crap” her late husband
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Garbed in unwashed robes and wearing a long, gray, wispy beard, former president George W.
AMHERST, MA—A filthy, disorganized apartment shared by three Marxists clearly shows why the utopia described by Marx will never come to fruition.